I've been reading a book by Jonathan Safran Foer called "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" and today while reading in Starbuck's (yes, I'm so addicted to reading during the day I have to go to a quiet place to read, and that's no longer the park due to the glorious NW weather) I came across a quote that sounded so familiar and made me double-take.
"She had fallen in love so many times that she began to suspect she was not falling in love at all, but doing something much more ordinary."
Hm.
I so often feel as though I have a lot to think about people in certain relationships. I'm in a time in my life where things have been easier to accept, I now realize when something is just flat out a bad idea, and I've also started to learn how to just put it out there. No more beating around the bush. No more worrying myself, and my friends about certain situations. Nope. Just ask what you want to know, tell what you want to get out of your heart, and speak honestly. And if that's not accepted by a certain person, then oh well! You tried and you deserve better anyhow.
I'm a big believer in signs, and I feel like since I've moved here my energy has been outstanding, and my confidence is doing pretty well. But I'm starting to wonder if these signs and happenings are just distracting me. I had my heart set on one matter, and instead the universe tossed me around and made me look here, and think about this thing over there, and once my head gets back where I started, I have a whole new view, and it ain't so pretty. This has caused upset, followed by denial, followed by bitterness, and lastly, acceptance. I accept that I don't understand why this person is with that person, or why people fall out of love, or even why the divorce rate is so (sadly) high. It does get discouraging, but what I saw tonight will make this girl fall in love with anyone who tried.
I went to this beautiful place called the Kennedy School. It's about 17 blocks away from my house so after work I walked over and enjoyed a couple of Ruby's while jammin' out to the Pagan Jug Band. I felt right at home with the banjo, harmonica, guitar, stand up bass, and a washboard! This is what I needed in a time of frustration and loneliness. Music will lift my soul no matter how heavy. Then I start to notice this couple up front.. WOW. Talk about love. I have no idea who these people are, what they do, where they're from, or how much crap they've had to go through to get where they are today, but I looked up to them instantly. They had to be in their late 70s, fragile looking and sweet as can be, but they were tearing up the dance floor! They twirled and came back into eachother's arms and off she was again spinning off across the floor. A couple of songs later another elderly gentleman came to cut in, and the husband allowed him and took a seat. The lady twirled and danced with him until finally the band was taking a break. I couldn't take my eyes off of any of them. It was so genuine, so innocent, so fun.
It reminded me that no matter how frustrating things get, and no matter how many boys make you want to cry (or punch them), and no matter if you don't have any money until pay day, you'll make it through. Things will get better, and enjoy it and take your time, but always look forward to the future because one of these days you'll be twirling around on the dance floor on a Thursday night in your 70's listening to bluegrass and having men begging to dance with you.
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